Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Go With The Flow

"If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
~Dr. Wayne Dryer

Changing your perspective of a situation is a widely used coaching tool. We'd love to have the ability to change everything wrong in our lives but the reality is that some things can't change right when we want or possibly ever. When those things arise we have to find a new way to look at them so that it's not such a bad aspect but a livable, tolerable and sometimes even enjoyable part of life.

Whether it's working a job you hate but can't afford to quit, having an injury that limits your mobility and lifestyle, a disease such as diabetes that has to be managed for the rest of your life, being in a relationship that you want to end but the timing is not right, losing a loved one and dealing with the hole it leaves, the possibilities are endless when it comes to places we can be stuck for a moment or for a lifetime.

Coaching is all about getting people unstuck of course but any reality will hold those moments when change is an impossibility. Things that in some way tend to bring us to our knees in life test the true nature of our strength and resilience. You hear the idea of people being glass half full or empty types but I've never truly believed it's as cut and dry.

It's true that some like to wallow in their hardship, focus on what is not going right and very rarely find something to be thankful for. Then there are the types that suffer in silence, always share a smile yet keep their pain inside so only they can endure it.

Then there are the truly amazing individuals who can almost always find some good in any bad situation. Those people who have an outlook on life that professes no matter what my day, week, month or year has been like I'm thankful for what I have and what I can give to others.

This can be a personality trait but it can also be an attitude adjustment. You can look for the bad anywhere and find it with ease. But to seek out the good, the positive, and ignore or shelf the negative is a talent.

I've been dealing with that at the moment, working a job I really don't enjoy and often dealing with people who are less than pleasant. But if I focus on the positive: my coworkers are truly extraordinary and fun, the hours fit exactly into my schedule with my kids and my other job, sometimes I get the sweetest customers who completely make my day, I actually will have a buffer at the end of my month instead of creative bill paying.

It's temporary for sure. Although I'm exhausted and barely have time to work on my business or school as a single mom I know I can handle it if I just keep it in its place and look at every day as a challenge instead of a sentence.

My son has that as well with a newly dislocated shoulder. Possible surgery could be in his future. It's disrupted his job at the air soft arena, his training at self defense, his ability to carry his 50 pound backpack every day and possibly his Eagle project he was about to start. But he keeps finding little positives in his day and he knows that it's all fixable even if inconvenient. .

Life will always throw wrenches in our existence, large and small. The terms 'roll with the punches' or 'go with the flow' indicate an ability to not let life stop you when things go poorly but to keep your momentum and put a plan into action or find the coping skills to overcome. Because with every bad moment, day, experience or situation there can be countless blessings, friendship, love or small miracles we only have to get out of our fog to see.

For me it's my job that I do love, my kids who always amaze me, my friends who constantly surprise me, and even my dog (lovingly known as the cockashit) who is my shadow.

My future will be different than my present. That I am sure.

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelte

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