Wednesday, August 14, 2013

What if....

"What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet."
~Woody Allen

I believe there are two types of people, the "what if" kind and the "take it in stride" type.

Not that it's completely cut and dry. Situations or circumstances can lead us to favor worrying versus waiting.

I've been dealing with this with my fiance right now. He's in a very "what if" mode when it comes to the future. Having interviews in Washington, Philadelphia and New York has his mind all over the place with what if scenarios.  Would we live in the city, outside, what would the kids choose, what kind of house, schools, community do we want....?

I'm more of the idea of let's wait and see what happens. No need to (excuse the old idiom) put the cart before the horse. Why stress over something that isn't even an issue as of yet?

We all have our what if moments. I get that a lot in teaching self defense for the last eight years. Students are always asking what if the bad guy does A, B or C instead. Of course with a self defense situation as in any reality of life there is no script or exact recipe. The answer is always to know they have skills, knowledge and hopefully a steady mind to react to the best of their ability.

We can really apply that to any part of our lives when it comes to the unknown. If we have coping skills, knowledge and an ability to keep a calm mindset we can overcome whatever trips us up in life.

I've coached many people on the what if question. What if I go back to school and fail? What if I apply for a job and get rejected? What if I get out of a bad relationship and no one wants me? The questions are endless but so are the answers.

Of course there are the what if's for the past as well. We all fall into that trap on occasion. What if I hadn't made that bad investment? What if I had avoided that relationship? What if I had taken that job? What if I had chosen another path? Of course these thoughts are even more useless than the future worries unless you're Marty McFly.

I'm not saying that worrying has no merit. Sometimes we find solutions ahead of time to our future problems. But don't obsess over things that can't be controlled. Time and energy is much better spent living in the presents.

 "Worry never robs tomorrow of it's sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."
~Leo Buscaglia

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