Monday, September 23, 2013

Fantasy World

"We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find the reality."
~Iris Murdoch~

I feel like lately I've been living in a fantasy world in my mind. My life is still the same....in fact my job has been terribly slow, my ex-husband is away for three weeks so I'm a true single mom, and any number of normal stresses have me running at what feels like light speed every day.

But none of it is bothering me a bit. I'm in my fantasy world.

My happy world used to come from books. I'd devour as many as I could. Lately I've lost the mental energy or "sink your teeth in" content to excite me. My daughter, however, is a massive book worm and I'm adoring that. She loves the fantasy world as well; Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter....anything that pulls her into something magical or completely foreign. She makes me want to find a new book....up for suggestions.

So why so "head in the clouds?"

I'm getting married. That statement used to have me throwing up in my mouth a bit. But I'm genuinely no holds barred excited.

**Sigh**

For those who don't know I'm marrying my best friend from high school. We were together constantly for years. He knew every detail of my life. I often tried to find him after school but he disappeared to Europe. When we finally did reconnect it was like we were never apart. We were friends again for awhile but of course we realized we were perfect for each other and the rest, as they say, is history.

Four years of a long distance relationship, me flying there, him coming here or meeting at another location was exciting, exhilarating, and always an adventure. But it also became exhausting, expensive and....well...lonely. Only together for a week more or less every two to three months can take its toll.

So things are changing.

I'm getting married. He's moving here within the next 9 months (give or take). We don't have it all figured out yet but there is a path being taken and it feels completely right.

So for now let me have my fantasy world. I'm sure reality will find a way to bite me soon.

I'm going to go pet my unicorn while small bluebirds sing in my ear.

"If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities."
~Maya Angelou~


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