Monday, March 16, 2015

Shhhhh.....

"On TV, I can hit the mute button and silence any moron. I wish real life came with a hush button I could push and enjoy instant quiet."
~Jarod Kintz, At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Imagine having that magical mute button. You could turn off a whining child, an annoying sales person or, lets be honest, any number of idiots one person can encounter.

The other day I was standing in line at Walmart waiting for the third time to see if they finally had my son's prescription ready. A nice couple behind me were having the same issue. We chatted for a bit until she said she had tried Walgreens but the woman had a "head cover thing" and it made her uncomfortable. MUTE

If I had been able to mute my ex-husband I may have stayed married longer and the kids might actually go see him more. But last night I was the one told to hush.

My kids always come home from their rare day or two with their dad and just vomit the details with no prompting. Sometimes it sounds so terrible I go into Momma Bear mode and send a "how dare you" text or email. That, from what I understand, is the wrong approach. All that does is lead to another lecture on their next visit simply adding to the circle of torture.

So I have promised to mute. I will not discuss anything regarding the kids with him unless it is absolutely necessary (medical issue or he decides to use one as a punching bag again). The kids can share their life details or not, their choice, and they will have to be their own advocate.

Because really, why waste the energy? People are who they are. We can try to change them. In our minds they are flawed, wrong or simply bat-shit crazy. But unless that feeling is shared the result is as effective as shaving a cat.

It's a simple coaching idea: If you can't change the situation than alter your approach and change your perspective. We all know the definition of insanity.

So my approach is to stay quiet and my perspective will be one of blissful ignorance about the situation.

In the words of the great Elmer Fudd I will be "vewy vewy qwiet."

"If you can be quiet, you're more than welcome to stay in my House of Silence. Bring your own bubblegum ice cream."
~Jarod Kintz, Seriously delirious, but not at all serious."


No comments:

Post a Comment