"Whenever I see a gorgeous women, I think, Who is that tall drink of water, and how come I'm suddenly thirsty?"
~Jarod Kintz, This Book Title is Invisible
What is sexy?
That question has a different answer to everyone. And the answer tends to change as we do. What I find sexy in my forties is very different from what I considered in my twenties.
I love to see people who believe their sexiness. I'm not talking about the creepy fat, balding, cocky guy who just comes off as stomach-turning (think Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder or present day Donald Trump). But the people who dress well, carry themselves beautifully and confidently, whether they are a size zero or a size 18, and display a kindness and happiness that shows how they view the world around them.
I love to see women of any size being beautiful and proud of who they are. My group of friends does not include one supermodel and I have to say that the ones that ooze the most sex appeal can be those that society would state should be ashamed of their body. Do you know by today's standards Marylin Monroe would have been considered chunky? Talk about sex appeal that would have been wasted.
What makes me heartbroken is people who give up, who don't care, who dress how they think the world should see them or how they feel about themselves. I know beautiful women who wear stained, ripped, too tight or old clothing because, in their minds, what's the point?
Sexy should not have a size. Sexy should be an attitude, a lifestyle.
I'm not saying we shouldn't always try to be healthy, eat right and work out, but we should love our bodies every minute we are doing it.
Not easy, I know. My husband tells me often that I am the sexiest thing he can imagine. My self-deprecating humor will emerge and I'll tell him he needs to improve on his imagination. But he truly means it and I'm lucky for that.
So what do I find sexy?
Humor mostly, I love it when someone makes me laugh. I have an incredibly sexy husband and some smokin' friends in that department.
Kindness, towards animals, is such a turn-on, but I like kindness to people as well.
Happiness, which is not always easy or possible. But people who display a happy outlook on life are truly the sexiest.
Adventurous. Life should be one big sexy adventure.
Intelligence, being a well-rounded person, which sort of goes along with humor. You need to be quick and bright to be truly funny, rather than tragically amusing.
Smell. Sounds strange but I really like someone who has a distinct nice smell about them.
(Thankfully my sexy husband fits all of these criteria.)
So what is unsexy?
Being too serious. Getting upset over the small stuff and obsessing over things that are trivial.
Being cheap. I get being money conscious, but some people discuss every cent that leaves their pocket as if it's a personal crisis even when they are not in financial trouble at all.
Cruelty to animals (or people). Those people should just give up and accept their worthlessness.
Stupidity. There is a lot of unsexy in today's world.
***Girl's, please don't up-speak, vocal fry or, for the love of humanity, stop with the every other word "Like." And let's be honest, not everything can be "literally."
So whether you're in a committed relationship or searching for one, think about what you find sexy. It may not be about blond hair or ripped abs. You might surprise yourself.
"She looked so sexy with her sixteen cats that I just had to swipe right, but when she messaged me first quoting Montey Python, I knew it was Tinder love. Maybe on the first date we'll knit the blanket we'll make love under."
~Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not FOR SALE