Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Creating a Wall

"If you keep running into the same wall over and over again, turn."
~Crystal DeLarm Climer

Walls, often a symbol of being contained, blocked or separated from something. We all run into walls, whether it's in our job, relationships or personal accomplishments they are unavoidable.

The true test is how you handle each wall. Do you stop, lean against it for awhile and walk away? Do you find a foothold and start to climb? Or do you find a sledgehammer and destroy it with passion?

Every wall is different.

Relationship walls tend to be constructed slowly over time. We are usually present for every brick that is laid but rarely take notice until the wall starts to obstruct our view. Once acknowledged the options tend to be removing the bricks one by one, letting the wall stand and ending the relationship, or drastically bulldozing the sucker in one motion. On a rare occasion, a relationship wall can be handled that final way, when both parties can find that moment of clarity and understanding of the future. There is still rubble to sift through, but the wall is destroyed.

I have clients in my Healthy Reboot program that hit walls. Family, work, stress or simple lack of motivation halt their progress and make them stand, banging their head against the bricks, wondering where to go. In those moments the wall won't be destroyed, it won't go away. They have to either gain the determination to climb over it or reevaluate their priorities to see if they can slowly find a way around it. That is the keyword: determination. No one can make you determined, motivated or successful. Someone can help you, cheer you on and guide in the right direction, but the work, desire, and drive can only come from within.

Work walls come in a variety of heights and thickness. I have a friend who gives the advice to never waste time in a career you hate. She clarifies that we all waste time in jobs we hate but never in what is a potential career. There is a difference between a job and a career. Great advice but sometimes seemingly impossible if we need that money to survive. I've heard the words, "This is not what I signed up for." It takes great strength and determination to start a new path, turn away from the wall and go in a better direction. Whether it's going back to school or actively job hunting and networking to find a better fit, it takes courage and a strong belief in a future professional happiness.

But if the wall is simply a stalling point in a career you love then it may just take some time to disassemble it to get back on the right path. That often requires a plan or blueprint of steps. But if getting past that obstacle will move you forward it's worth the effort.

What wall are you starting to construct or are you staring up at it right now?

It can only stop you if you want it to.

"A wall is a very big weapon. It's one of the nastiest things you can hit someone with."
~Banksy, Banging Your Head Against a Brick Wall

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