Wednesday, September 2, 2015

What Do I Want?

"...and you drink a little too much and try a little too hard. And you go home to a cold bed and think, 'That was fine'. And your life is a long line of fine."
~Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

What does it mean to get stuck in a rut? Is it as simple as just being predictable,  routine or bored with life? Is it not having anything to feel passionate about, look forward to or strive towards? Is it never getting out of your comfort zone and always being afraid to shake the balance of life?

I suppose it can be any combination of these ideas. Some people find the routine, predictable and easy, with the minor daily shake-ups, all they can handle. But so many others long for that "something more." That elusive explosion of change or adventure that seems out of their reach but always in the back of their minds.

I'm absolutely one of those people. I have to have something to look forward to, an adventure or a goal I want to accomplish. Right now we have a family adventure planned in November and I have at least four goals I hope to achieve in the next few months, plus a longer term goal or two.

But so many people get stuck in a self-fulfilling dish of unhappiness with a dash of 'lack of passion' and a hint of 'that's life' attitude that presents the most boring and sad display.

Often I hear "I wish," "if only," or my favorite, "what if?"

Those ideas can be what we need to get out of our rut.

Look at your life right now and say: I wish.....
What is it?
I wish I was in better shape.
I wish I could travel more.
I wish I could find a better job.
I wish I could go back to school.
I wish.....

If only I had the money.
If only I had more time.
If only things were slightly different.
If only...

What if I cut some corners and started a separate account for a vacation?
What if I asked for help from my family to go back to school part time?
What if I started actively looking for that job that I think I deserve.
What if I made a goal to run a 5K or get to the gym four times a week.
What if....

And now the ultimate of questions: What do I want?

I understand having obligations, responsibilities, and a busy schedule. But if your life consists of a job you hate, coming home to a relationship gone sour or simply having nothing positive to strive for it may be time to shake things up.

It doesn't have to be a major Eat, Pray, Love or Wild type of life altering adventure, but it may have to be something. Plan a trip or excursion, sign up for a class, try something or plan something completely out of your comfort zone. Go on a weekend getaway with your partner to reconnect (and if you discover that there is a reason you don't spend that kind of time together discuss that issue). Start a blog, try a sport, pick up an instrument, try out for a play or join a club.


I wish my life could fill me with passion.
If only I could make a plan.
What if I made a plan right now?

I want _____________.

What is stopping you?

"But there was a difference between being stuck and choosing to stay. Between being found and trying to find yourself."
~Martina Boone, Compulsion

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