Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Center Dammit!

"Don't just do something. Sit there!"

Becoming centered. I've never found that comes easily to me. Today as I was supposed to be centering a man was giving a lovely speech on finding the calm within. Or so I'm told. I was thinking about why my ex-husband won't answer simple questions concerning the kids and how, if there is a way, I can change that (not likely).

Years ago when I worked at a big gym I took a few yoga classes and hated how easily distracted I became. I never stuck with it. Now that I'm older and so much wiser (cough cough) it should be easier right?

Yes and no.

I've been doing Bikram (think HOT) at a fantastic new studio in Lititz ( I think the heat helps me focus because often I'm concentrating on the human water fountain I've become, when I can next sneak a sip of water, or if I'm struggling because of the half of bottle of wine I drank the night before. Okay, maybe a full bottle. Don't judge me.

So it's going better. But I'd like to find that calm, peace, and meditative state at the end that others seem to accomplish. My brain tends to go right to, "if someone else gets up so will I," and "I wonder if the dog went on the carpet again."

How do you shut out the world? How do you patronus away the Dementors that suck the joy out of your brain and make you stress instead of relaxing?

I'm still working on it. I catch a glimpse of calm on rare occasions.

It could also be that I'm bad at following directions. That's to say I heard them and wasn't making mental to-do lists.

Like pick up wine and pet stain carpet cleaner.


Thursday, February 18, 2016

Don't Judge. Seriously. Don't.

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
~Maya Angelou

I was looking for a new blog idea and one just called me on the phone.

The conversation:

Friend: "I have to ask you a question and I picked you to call because you won't judge what I'm about to say. Apparently there is an open house tonight at the middle school that I knew nothing about and I just have so much to do I don't really want to go."

Me: "Wait, what? There's an open house tonight?" (Apparently she picked the right person to call.)

Friend: "I think it was in the last newsletter email but I didn't read that one."

Me: "There's a newsletter email? I should probably find out about that."

Yes, I'm that person. I'm that person that you probably can't shock and most likely I've failed in some way worse than you have. I'm not "mother of the year." I strive to be "mother of the minute" a few times a month (as I'm their only mother it's a reasonable goal).

I'm the person who you never have to worry if your house is a mess, if you can't cook, or if you need to pour a cocktail at noon. Pour me one too and let's discuss.

My car is filled with horse hair, goldfish crackers, gloves missing their partner, muddy boots, and a yoga mat I should probably think about airing out. I have multiple junk drawers, boxes of unorganized pictures and a tendency to procrastinate when I need to organize anything. In reality, it's more of a distraction issue. Things that weren't interesting become clearly mind blowing in comparison to organizational bliss.

My riding tack gets an occasional cleaning and my horse at the moment resembles Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant (but she's much cuter even if her beard is twice as long. She probably smells better too.)

So my sage advice to such a friend was, "This is our last of three kids. Who are we trying to impress?"

I'm so honored to be THAT person. I hope I am always that person who my friends know will understand anything because, really, I've probably said, done, broken, messed up a kid, a car or (fill in the blank) way worse than they could imagine so let me give you a pep talk about how you're doing a fantastic job!

And I've had my share of being judged. Not a fan.

What are your dirty little secrets? Pour a cocktail and let's compare embarrassing stories. That's what friends are for.

"Never tell a friend 'I told you so'-even when you did."
~Wendy Jean Smith