Thursday, February 18, 2016

Don't Judge. Seriously. Don't.

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better."
~Maya Angelou

I was looking for a new blog idea and one just called me on the phone.

The conversation:

Friend: "I have to ask you a question and I picked you to call because you won't judge what I'm about to say. Apparently there is an open house tonight at the middle school that I knew nothing about and I just have so much to do I don't really want to go."

Me: "Wait, what? There's an open house tonight?" (Apparently she picked the right person to call.)

Friend: "I think it was in the last newsletter email but I didn't read that one."

Me: "There's a newsletter email? I should probably find out about that."

Yes, I'm that person. I'm that person that you probably can't shock and most likely I've failed in some way worse than you have. I'm not "mother of the year." I strive to be "mother of the minute" a few times a month (as I'm their only mother it's a reasonable goal).

I'm the person who you never have to worry if your house is a mess, if you can't cook, or if you need to pour a cocktail at noon. Pour me one too and let's discuss.

My car is filled with horse hair, goldfish crackers, gloves missing their partner, muddy boots, and a yoga mat I should probably think about airing out. I have multiple junk drawers, boxes of unorganized pictures and a tendency to procrastinate when I need to organize anything. In reality, it's more of a distraction issue. Things that weren't interesting become clearly mind blowing in comparison to organizational bliss.

My riding tack gets an occasional cleaning and my horse at the moment resembles Leonardo DiCaprio in The Revenant (but she's much cuter even if her beard is twice as long. She probably smells better too.)

So my sage advice to such a friend was, "This is our last of three kids. Who are we trying to impress?"

I'm so honored to be THAT person. I hope I am always that person who my friends know will understand anything because, really, I've probably said, done, broken, messed up a kid, a car or (fill in the blank) way worse than they could imagine so let me give you a pep talk about how you're doing a fantastic job!

And I've had my share of being judged. Not a fan.

What are your dirty little secrets? Pour a cocktail and let's compare embarrassing stories. That's what friends are for.

"Never tell a friend 'I told you so'-even when you did."
~Wendy Jean Smith

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