Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Bad Moms

"I used to believe my father about everything but then I had children myself & now I see how much stuff you make up just to keep yourself from going crazy."
~Brian Andreas, Story People: Selected Stories and Drawing from Brian Andreas

Recently a friend and I did the unthinkable. We went to a movie in the middle of the week in the middle of the day. What??? I shit you not. And the perfect movie for two mom's was obviously Bad Moms. It won't get an Oscar but it did get a lot of laughs from the only two people in the theater at 11:45 a.m.

The premise I could completely relate to. A woman's life literally falls apart for awhile and she can no longer be Wonder-Mom so she becomes Barely-Adequate-Mom instead. She gives herself permission to be a bad mom. I did the same while going through my divorce. I stopped volunteering at school and saying yes to every little request from bake sales to chaperoning. I did the dump and run errands during soccer practices or gymnastics practice rather than sit and watch every move my child made. I needed balance. It was no longer life revolving around them but around my needs as well. And at times, I was selfish.

I slowly got back to the occasional volunteer school activity but it had to mean something to that kid. And in not always being there for every minute of their lives, I worked multiple part-time jobs, they learned to be more self-sufficient. My daughter has been packing her lunch since fifth grade. All of my kids do their own laundry and know how to cook. And when we do get quality time together we make it fun and often an adventure because that's what they remember. Not that I missed a few soccer games to maybe catch up with my friends

I know many Wonder-Moms. Those women who never miss a sporting event, recital, or back to school night. Those mom's that rarely do anything not family oriented or even for themselves and I'm  in honest awe of them while simultaneously wanting to smack them around a bit. Mainly because when I speak with older mom's they all tend to say the same thing, "I lost myself for awhile."

I know childhood is fleeting and one day Bobby or Julie won't need you for everything. I also know that when that time comes you want to still have your friends and own personal activities. You have to nurture and grow your own life or you will look around your empty house and wonder who you are. Don't lose yourself. There is no Amber Alert system for that.

"If you want a baby, have a new one. Don't baby the old one."
~Jessamyn West




Saturday, October 1, 2016

Great Words

"You must be careful of the words you use, or the words you allow to be used in your house."
~Maya Angelou

The power of words. They can rip open a heart, tear apart a child, break down a confidence, start a war. It's the language, the words in this election that scare so many of us. The disregard for facts, the lack of information, the idea that flipping a coin could be a valid way to determine if something is true or false.

I just don't understand the following of Mr. Trump and many have tried to explain it to me. I listen and stay calm, I know I won't change their mind and they won't change mine. It's not just the fact that years ago he screwed my grandfather, a man who actually started a business from nothing as an honest businessman, out of millions of dollars by never paying him for the work he did on his casino. My grandfather being one of the countless people he did that to and almost lost his business because of it. That should be enough to hate the guy. But no, there's more. It's everything he says, every day, that terrifies me.

Supporters will say that it's the media and how they spin him. But debates, press conferences, interviews and sound bites always show otherwise. He has the temperament of a toddler who missed their nap, the integrity of a pedophile who just wants you to find his puppy and the honesty of....well.....that same cranky toddler when caught doing something wrong. "I didn't do it! You can't prove it! Why are you so mean to me?" He claims to be smarter than our military and admits to not paying taxes that would support our troops. He holds the fact that he cheated the government as a great accomplishment.

Do we want a president that makes us cringe when he speaks? Do we want our kids to grow up with the value that women are worthless if they aren't a 10? Do we want someone who doesn't care who he insults, what race, gender or religion because he believes he is always above them, better than they are, so he has the right?

I'm not sure how you could vote for him if you are a woman or know a woman, are Muslim or Latino or merely respect other cultures and religions, respect our military, have a sense of decorum in how people should speak to each other, any knowledge of government and world politics to realize what a train wreck of a diplomat and world leader he will be, or believes that just because we have nuclear weapons does not mean we have to use them. I am more terrified of a Trump presidency than I was of Jaws as a kid (and let me tell you-that was fucking scary!)

We are a laughing stock in other countries. We are the people who want to elect a terrible reality star/business man (I'm waiting for him to prove me wrong by showing his taxes) who has no idea what is going on in the world let alone politics. He has shown this in more interviews than can possibly be watched in one sitting without the feeling of sickness one might get after eating rotten eggs.

But he is a great businessman!

Prove it. He has claimed bankruptcy more times than he has been married. He has screwed over so many small businesses without a shred of regret. He has more lawsuits than the entire lifespan of The People's Court. There are many successful businessmen who never left such a trail of failures and unpaid bills. He saves himself by destroying others.

But he's not corrupt, he paid for his own campaign.

Not exactly. He accepted millions from doners and took a loan from himself for the rest. And if you look at the numbers he has barely paid anything on his campaign since he gets constant free press. The one upside to verbally shitting over something every day of the week.

But he cares about us, the working Americans!

Bullshit. He cares about himself. His tax plan is so terrible it puts our country in a mind-numbing debt that he says we can overcome because he is the "king of debt." He name calls, threatens, bullies and insults and never once gives a proposal of how we will be great again besides a wall, his brain and his "great words."

I have yet to hear one.

Our country is not a business nor should it be run like a reality show.  His ability to run our country is about as valid as Trump University. His followers claim there is nothing he can say that would turn them against him. Yet it seems like every day he says something that makes us stare in disbelief that he is a candidate. But everyone has to have that imaginary line that sooner or later he will cross.

Everyone has a line right? Please tell me you have a line. Please?

We are great. We never stopped being great. But with this candidate countries who are our friends and allies will look at us as a joke for their comedians to cash in on. While he runs our country into the ground as he has done with so many things in his life, he will make friends with dictators and insult the rational, upstanding leaders until we become one of those reality shows where the people think they are so smart for being on TV but most of the viewers are laughing at their stupidity.

Maybe Mama June and the guys from Duck Dynasty could get cabinet positions.

"My IQ is one of the highest-and you all know it. Please don't feel so stupid or insecure; it's not your fault."
~Donald Trump